Light magic

Posted on September 30, 2011 by Magda

A few people posted in the comments to “The elephant in the room” that they are realizing that now they they’re the adults, the anticipation and magic that was all part of Christmas when they were younger is now their responsibility.

I felt weighed down by this when my kids were teeny, before I got divorced. In retrospect, I was being crushed by the weight of expectation from all angles, and Christmas was just mega-ultra-supremely expectation-y. Plus, you’re supposed to be cherished at Christmastime (every kiss begins with k) and I was neither cherished nor cherishing in that marriage, so it was flat and wrong but I felt like I needed to make every minute sparkle.

It was exhausting.

And then I became a failure, and Christmas still happened.

That was, and still is, the story of my life. I broke–into a million little pieces–and while I was struggling to glue myself back together, God came down and grabbed me. He sent his son, like he does every year, whether we welcome him or not. And that fused me back together again.

Those two mid-divorce Christmases were kind of horrible in terms of anticipation. But they were just right, because into the midst of darkness, the light came. And they reset who I was and what my definition of magic is.

In some weird twist of spiritual double indemnity, I am now both living up to my own expectations and also freed of a lot of expectations. And that makes the “making the magic” angle of Christmas actually doable. I figured out what means magic for me, and I have started paying very close attention to what each of my children gets that sparkly feeling from and what they don’t seem to care about. Everything that none of the three of us cares about gets left by the wayside.

It isn’t photo-worthy, and there are no red bows. It’s just ordinary magic.

Written by Magda (Christmased.com‘s Head Elf), who is grateful.

Christmas in September

Posted on September 29, 2011 by Magda

I’m the one of those insufferably smug people whose Christmas presents are bought and wrapped before Columbus Day at the latest, and I’m getting nervous because October is creeping up on us and the presents still aren’t wrapped.

What prompts me to be so fanatical about getting my Christmas shopping done before the holly even decks the halls of the local mall? Close your eyes and imagine for a second. Imagine someone who is so incredibly uptight as to buy and wrap Christmas presents in September. Now imagine that person in mid-December, in a panic. Now, imagine being on the other side of the cash register from that person — that’s why I have a stack of presents for my kids sitting in the attic: because the alternative belongs in the realm of Halloween.

Why do we do this, my husband Chris and myself? Why do we buy into the gross consumerism that distracts us all from the real meaning of Christmas: that 2000 years ago, give or take a decade, God walked on earth in human form? Why do we give our children a Christmas that is, by any reasonable measure, extravagant? Two words: Santa Claus.

Our daughter Catherine, a born skeptic if ever there was one, believed in Santa Claus through the end of second grade, until an older girl told her about the tooth fairy, and she extrapolated and then asked me to tell her the real, whole, unvarnished truth about Santa Claus. I did, and now she knows for certain that I will never lie to her. I immediately threatened Catherine with the knowledge that the instant her brother stopped believing in Santa Claus, it would mean the end of the pile of presents on Christmas morning: they would each get one modest gift, more in keeping with our family culture of simplicity, or else we would just go on a family vacation over the holidays — and that’s how I found out that our daughter can keep a secret.

Our son Nicholas, a born romantic, still believes with his whole heart, not just in Santa Claus, but in the whole realm of the imagination, and we’re going make sure he continues to believe in magic until he outgrows it naturally. His father never has, which is the real reason we celebrate Christmas the way we do: Chris believes in Santa so profoundly that he incorporates the myth into his very persona. And so, until last weekend, we had a huge stash of loot under a sheet in the back of our closet.

It’s not there anymore, and it’s not because I wrapped everything. I was looking for the flashlights.

Flashlights are a flash point in our house. Chris thinks we need to keep one in every room in case the lights go out, and Nicholas, who is six, thinks that every flashlight is a lightsaber. Chris thinks I need to do a better job keeping the toys tidy, and he might have a point, but I think cleaning up the toys is the kids’ job and the upshot is that there was nary a flashlight to be found in the Rose household on the day I was packing for a Brownie overnight at the Dallas Zoo. I was angry about the stupid flashlights, so I tore apart the pile of presents in the back of my closet to get at the two mini Maglights I knew were in the stash and that’s when Catherine walked in and caught sight of a corner of a box and said, “Oooooooooooooooooh, Monster High” while I threw the sheet back over the rest of the loot.

I went to the Zoo and left Chris with the unpleasant job of moving all the toys up to the attic after I called him to yell about flashlights and to inform him that, for the first time, Catherine had found the Christmas presents and he’d better damn well move them before we came home the next morning. A couple of the other moms at the campout talked me out of my tree by explaining that their husbands and sons all had similar flashlight obsessions, and that the size and shape of typical flashlights surely had something to do with it — and then, independently, Chris, who knows that laughter is the best way to get me out of a snit, texted me an image of the Fleshlight. By the time the young and beautiful staffer at the Zoo told the story of when, at another camp out, one of the dads got drunk and wouldn’t leave her alone, I had remembered that my husband is my favorite person in the whole wide world and I called to apologize, and to tell him I knew that I was being ridiculous to be mad about something as unimportant as flashlights.

So now this is the predicament I am in:

Chris is mad at me for yelling at him for insisting that the flashlights be stashed with the Christmas presents instead of being put away with the camping gear, as I said they should be. I’ve said I’m sorry, and I am, but one of the reasons we almost never fight is that I am as mean as a snake with a hangover, and Chris has tender feelings that stay hurt for a long time. I hate that I hurt his feelings about Christmas presents.

The Christmas presents are now in the attic and not my closet, which makes it harder for me to get at them to wrap them. It’s a giant pain in my neck, and I know it is my fault.

Catherine knows it’s going to be a Monster High Christmas for her. Do I return them and go with another theme or do I live with the lack of surprise? She’ll be disappointed either way.

The whole thing is a giant emotional quagmire and I know either way it’s going to end up with my spending more money than I want to. But at least it’s still well before Halloween, and it will all blow over in a day or two, and by the time Christmas comes it’ll be ancient history.

And that is why I get all my shopping and wrapping done in September.

Elizabeth Rose is a stay-at-home mom, cancer survivor, and writer. You can find her blog at Dance with the Reaper, and her column Christmas Tango here every week at Christmased.com.

Nothing says “the birth of our Lord and Savior” like tractors

Posted on September 29, 2011 by Magda

Sometimes I really love getting my mail. Especially when something this entertaining comes this early in the year, and ties together sparkly Christmas, farm equipment, consistent branding, and the concept of “cancel at any time.” And is advertised on the back of a coupon for Crispies(TM) “delightfully airy, absolutely delicious” cat treats.

An ad for this came in with the pile of coupons in my mailbox yesterday:

Farmall Illuminated Holiday Village With Sculpted Tractors

“This exclusive Farmall Holiday Village Collection from Hawthorne Village features:

First-ever Farmall Holiday Village with illuminated buildings and sculpted classic Farmall tractors, exclusively from Hawthorne Village
Each collectible tractor and building in this collection is handcrafted of artist’s resin and painted by hand for attention to detail
Buildings illuminate and are adorned with festive holiday decorations and “snow”
Included FREE a sculpted, vintage Farmall H Tractor with Issue One, and “Gus the Farmhand,” and “Mom” figurines with Issue Two, and additional select FREE figurines and accessories with subsequent issues – together a $60 value
Makes a nostalgic addition to your holiday decor
Certificates of Authenticity
Holiday barn measures approximately 5-1/4″ H; 13.3 cm H”

I don’t have an appropriate comment.

Catalogphilia

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Magda

One of my favorite parts about the extended Christmas season is all the catalogs that arrive only once a year. The rest of the year I get annoyed when I receive paper catalogs (I usually buy what I want to online instead of from a catalog), but during the Mondo American Christmas Season I love to see the excess—and just plain weirdness—that comes in catalogs.

As a kid, the zillion-page Sears Wish Book catalog was the true kick-off to the Christmas season. I could, and will, write an entire post about the Sears Wish Book later, because it was formative for me. But I still get that kind of breathless “what if the perfect toy is on the next page, the toy that will MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE??” feeling, even when I know the catalog only sells adult clothing. Just pulling catalogs out of the mailbox makes me happy.

Note: I just moved from NYC to Michigan, and I doubt my catalogs will catch up with me this year. This makes me sad. Fortunately, I live close enough to my mom now that I’ll be able to scrutinize all the catalogs she gets, which are the same ones I get PLUS a whole batch targeted at women 30 years older than I am. I can’t wait.

I love the foofy catalogs like Pottery Barn and Lands End and Garnet Hill that show the idealized Mondo American Christmas, the Christmas in which one heterosexual spouse surprises the other heterosexual spouse with a new car, complete with that enormous bow that must weigh 150 pounds, easy. I also love the doofy catalogs like Wireless and Lillian Vernon that just contain dorky things, like an assortment of bow ties to affix to champagne bottles when you give them as gifts, or board games based on walleye fishing. Now that my kids aren’t super-little anymore I even love the kids’ catalogs and the way they make you feel like there’s a chance your kids will actually stay clean during an entire holiday meal with extended family or that they’ll be excited to wear something featuring a scratchy bow.

But what I really love is turning the page of a catalog that contains one kind of merchandise to find a section I never thought would be in the catalog. Last year, on October 19, I was looking in the Olde Tyme Candy section of the Vermont Country Store catalog, turned the page, and there they were: (lower your voice) vibrators.

Yes, vibrators. In the middle of the Vermont Country Store catalog, along with horehound candy and that buzzy bee game and thermal socks.

And that is what Christmas catalogs mean to me.

Written by Magda (Christmased.com‘s Head Elf), who has never purchased anything from the Vermont Country Store catalog, but who has her eye on the buzzy bee game.

Cranberry Walnut Cake

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Magda

Cranberries are one of my favorite fruits for baking, because they hold their shape perfectly, are easy to handle, and have an intense flavor that’s an excellent finish for meals with the deeper flavors we cook with in the fall and winter.

This coffee cake recipe is super-easy (even if you’re not at all a baker). Pairing the cranberries with walnuts, orange zest, and cinnamon brings out their fall flavor. If you decide to substitute dark chocolate chips for the walnuts, take out the cinnamon.

Cranberry Walnut Cake

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).

2 eggs
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup vegetable or canola oil
3 cups fresh cranberries
1 cup chopped walnuts (or dark chocolate chips)
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon minced orange zest*

Mix all the ingredients together in the order they’re listed in. You’ll have a thick batter. Spread it all along the bottom of a 9 by 13 pan (no need to grease the pan). Bake for one hour, then allow the cake to cool for at least 10 minutes before you cut into it.

* If you’ve never made orange zest before, take an orange and rinse off the outside. Then use a zester or the teeny tiny fine side of a box grater and rub off just the orange part of the peel. The orange part of the peel, the zest, has a bright flavor that is kind of “super-orange” without the sourness of the orange fruit. Don’t get the white pith, which is bitter. Once you’ve got the shards of zest, chop them up superfine with a knife.

The elephant in the room

Posted on September 27, 2011 by Magda

We’ve known each other for two days now so I think we can be honest:

Most of us do not like that all the Christmas stuff starts so early. Our emotions seem to range from mild annoyance leading to a feeling of superiority at the kind of people who are actually going to buy Christmas lights in September, to a deep feeling of hurt that the larger North American (yeah, I’m talking to you, too, Canada) culture has strayed so far from the celebration of the birth of Christ that the tacky Christmas stuff is now out right next to Halloween candy.

And yet, here we are on this website, specifically talking about Christmas when it’s still three months away. It’s not religiously correct, nor does it make a lot of sense for secular Christmas celebrators, either.

Hypocrisy? Cognitive dissonance? Or a welcome forum to discuss things we notice and think about that would annoy our friends if we tried to talk about them at a bar or on Facebook or at work? I really hope it’s the third option.

Whatever it is, though, I’m going to claim the right for anyone reading or posting at Christmased.com to complain about things starting too early even if we’re commenting on it equally early. In other words: Get off our lawn!

Crafters Unite

Posted on September 27, 2011 by Magda

One big reason we started Christmased.com a full three months before Christmas is that we’re crafters, and we know it’s time to start working on our projects now if we have any hope of finishing by December 25 (or December 24, for those of us who celebrate Scandinavian-style by opening gifts on Christmas Eve).

If you’re planning to make gifts by hand, what’s your MO? Do you make a list of everything you need to make, then assess realistically and starts ASAP? Do you make a project as it occurs to you, and not plan anything more than you have free time to make? Do you plan too many projects and then stay up all night December 22, 23, and 24 desperately trying to finish them?

Do you stick with crafts you already know? Or do you use the gift-giving season as an excuse to learn new things?

What media do you work in? Knitting, crocheting, stamping, decoupage, woodworking, jewelry-making, papier mache, quilting, sewing, hot-gluing, candle-making? Something we haven’t even heard of?

Tell us what you’re planning to do, and how you do it. The feedback we get will help determine what craft-related posts to put up in the next few weeks, so let us know what you need.

Holiday Hot Toy List

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Magda

And we thought we were jumping the gun…

Last Tuesday Toys R Us released its annual “Holiday Hot Toy List.” Actually, they seem to have released two separate lists, one with their Top 15 toys, and another one with those 15 plus 21 others. (Here’s the whole list here on their site: http://www.toysrus.com/hottoys. The top 15 are at the top, and the other 21 are down below the fold.) Which seems like some idea Marketing thought was brilliant but is actually confusing. Why not a “top 10″ list instead of 15, and why 21 extras instead of 20? I wonder what politics go into which toys get included on the list and which don’t.

I was all set to go on a rant about how they released the list on the last day of summer and what is wrong with people?, but then I was stopped short by this little number:

The “I Am T-Pain Mic”

The blurb from the TRU press release gives this description of it:

“Aspiring musicians and those who just want to have fun can sound like a pro with the push of a button thanks to the voice modification technology found in this microphone using the T-Pain Effect™, the singing style made famous by the world renown musician T-Pain. Boasting three minutes of recording time and the ability to transfer clips to a computer to share online with friends, kids can even layer their own voice into tracks found in their personal music collection. The Mic comes with a built-in speaker, a headphone jack, volume control and more, allowing users to break out a beat whenever they’re in the groove. 3 “AAA” batteries required (included). Ages 7 years and up.”

Want.

Who could possibly not want to sound like T-Pain? You can keep all your Monster High Fearleaders and LeapPad stuff–voice modification is where it’s at. With my I Am T-Pain Mic it’s going to be a “Computer Love” fantasy around here non-stop.

But back to the list. If you want to read the descriptions of all 36 items, go to the official press release and scroll down to the bottom, where they have them separated by age category.

Thoughts? Do you like the toys on the list? Will this list influence your buying habits? Is it too early even to think about it? Will anything ever compare to Cabbage Patch Kids? (See also: Get off my lawn.)

Written by Magda (Christmased.com‘s Head Elf), who doesn’t want anything else from the Hot Toy List except that microphone.

Welcome to Christmased!

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Magda

Welcome to Christmased.com: Santa, Baby Jesus, and everything yule.

We were wishing there was a site that would combine religious and secular thoughts and activities for Christmas, post regular content, and serve as a gathering place for people who love Christmas and who love to talk about Christmas. So here we are!

If you’re reading this on September 26, then you’re an early adaptor, and you probably love Christmas even more than we do! We decided to start the site 90 days before Christmas so we could talk about crafting and prep, and also have some Deep Discussions about things like commercialism, assumptions, and what the meaning of “the true meaning” is. We’re going to run through the Twelve Days of Christmas, until January 6, to finish out the Christmas season.

What can you do here, in these 90 + 12 days?

Read and comment! We’ll be writing about crafts, celebrating, food, staying sane through the season, gifts, music, religious celebrations, secular celebrations, movies, memoirs,, and tons of other topics. We hope you join the conversation.
Take polls. We’ll be running polls a few times a week, some silly and some serious.
Follow us on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Christmased
Put your email address in the box right here so you can get our emails. We’ll be doing one a week until November 24, when the gloves come off and we’ll send one a day. (After you put your email address in and click “Submit,” you’ll get an email asking you to click through to verify that you really did mean to sign up.) We won’t ever sell, give, trade, barter, etc. your email to anyone else for any reason. Insert your own joke here about Santa giving lumps of coal to the kind of people who would do that.

Tell a few Christmas-liking friends about us! Mention to your friends that you found a site that will let them talk about Christmas to their hearts’ contents without annoying their non-Christmas-loving friends.

What do you think? Is it insane to think we can cover everything Christmas? Is it insane to start this early? Or are we crazy like a fox and you can’t wait to read more? Comment and let us know!