The Modern Hortons?

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As a little girl I remember watching soap operas with my parents, every day from 12:30-3:00.  There were three different shows, but of the three, only one was the one not to be missed, was on from 1-2pm.  During that time, we watched the stories of the Horton and Brady families unfold and I’m sure that if you asked me now, I’d be able to tell you about them all, just like they were extended family members even though I’ve not watched now for over 10 years.

Out of all of the days I spent that hour watching, in my parent’s living room or the TV room at the student union, my most favorite episode every year was the annual Christmas Tree Decorating episode.  I looked forward to that day as much as some people looked forward to Oprah’s Christmas Show.  I called it Ornament Day.

Mr. and Mrs. Horton had this tradition that they had special hand painted ornaments for each member of their family.  During the episode, they would either hang their own ornament, or one of the Hortons would hang the ornament and you would be treated to a montage of reasons why that person was so special in the family.  Highlights of each member’s life, or pivotal points in their story were played with a special song that the viewer would associate with that character.

So, why am I giving you the crib notes on The Horton Family from Days of Our Lives?  Well, it was always my dream to have a tree like that, full of special name bulbs for each member of my family.

Khaled and I had our first official date on Christmas Cookie Weekend.  Normally, you wouldn’t think much about that fact, but the truth is that I told him we needed a Christmas tree in his apartment not more than two weeks afterwards, and we went out and bought one.  The next weekend we were up at Bronners’ Christmas Wonderland buying our name ornaments.

I guess now that 15 years have passed, I can see that somehow I knew we would be building our own ‘Horton Family’ when we ordered those ornaments.  We were committing to building the foundation for what has become our close knit, interwoven family that is always together and in each others’ business and fiercely loyal to each other.

So, what is the point in all of this?  Well, I didn’t truly grasp the complications of celebrating Christmas with Muslim children until my daughters, Pea and Kate, came home from school and told me that celebrating Christmas was haraam (forbidden) in Islam.  Boy that was a tangled, beast of a mess to sort out!  Depending on how strict you follow the letter of the book; some families do think that celebrating any holiday other than Eid ul Fitr and Eid ul Adha is completely wrong and non-negotiable.  In our family, we celebrate my cultural holidays, the American Tradition, as well as the Islamic, Egyptian holidays.

Every year since that very first Christmas together, I go and buy the yearly Li-Bien ornament from Pier One, and when we are decorating, we tell the story of each item on the tree.  I tell the story of how Baba brought home the train that encircles the middle of the tree, and the few homemade ornaments we have from the children’s time at non-religious schools.  We also have the crystal ornaments my grandmother gave me the year before she died; the girls love to see me hang the glass angels, and tell them about Grandma Patricia. I have many ornaments that were on my mother’s tree as we were growing up, that were passed down to her from her mom.  My second mom gives us all Hallmark ornaments each year, the children love to hang their own.  We have special treasures from Great Grandma’s house that we bring out during our Christmas decorating and that always leads to remembering our time with her.

Our tree is a reflection of the years we have spent together, and the history of our family, much like the Horton Family Tree, and the stories we tell are of loving moments, memories that my children can tell just as well as we can.

Every year we visit the Lights before Christmas at the zoo before the weather gets too bad and we love to drive through certain neighborhoods in our town and see who added to their display and who decided not to decorate this year.  I do my very best to send out Christmas Cards on a timely (and sometimes not so timely basis) and we collect and display the cards we receive in the arch of our kitchen.  We sing non-religious songs (usually by The Chipmunks and other pop artists) and we have a lot of fun over the winter break hanging out together.

It is part of my family tradition to bake dozens upon dozens of frosted cookies with the ladies of my family, so to continue this with my generation; my sister in law brings over my nieces and joins my mother, daughters and I in baking for an entire day, gathering for an abbreviated version of Cookie Weekend.  I started a new tradition in using graham crackers to build ‘Gingerbread’ houses to decorate and display.  On the night we celebrate Christmas with Aunt Carol, we watch The Polar Express while snuggled under comforters all together on the sofa. We visit my family, and we Skype with Khaled’s family, all who wish us a Merry Christmas.

Our children have come to accept that we live in a home where Mommy was raised Christian, and it is perfectly ok, and fun, to celebrate the holidays and traditions that Mommy grew up celebrating.  Most often the mixed culture families that we are friendly with leave town to avoid the holiday altogether.  They don’t have a tree, they don’t have the lights, they don’t get to celebrate that part of their culture that is not only about religion, but about the love of family.  I am blessed that this isn’t an issue for us.

 

Kristina ElSayed is a family keeper, a writer and a substitute teacher who strives to be a Renaissance Woman in the Mid-West.  You can find her talking about living an Islamic Life and Parenting Muslim Children @ MyIslamicLife.Wordpress.com.

 

The Holy Family: A Surprising Birth

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The Second Week of Advent

Normally my husband and I zip through commercials when we’re watching something we’ve recorded, whether it’s a primetime drama or a football game.  But for some reason, we have to stop and watch the remake of the Wendy’s “Where’s the beef?” commercial.  It’s probably just 80s nostalgia and it will (hopefully) wear off soon.  But when that question, “Where’s the beef?” and the theme for this Advent post, “joy,” crossed in my mind, I wondered, “Where’s the joy?”

Right now, as we get ready for the second week of Advent, where is the joy?  It’s easy to look around and see a lot of not-joy, in the form of unemployment, or hurting families, or plain old loneliness.  You can probably fill in the blank for that thing in your life that brings you not-joy today: illness, or work stress, or your to do list.  It’s can be hard to look around and find joy.

But there is an answer to that question, “Where’s the joy?”  Joy is on its way. Joy is coming soon.

During the first week of Advent, we heard about hope.  We heard the angel Gabriel announcing to Mary that she would have a child.  Not just any child, but the Son of God.

For the second week of Advent, which begins on Sunday, December 4, fast-forward nine months from the angel’s announcement.  But before you do, gather your family or take a moment for yourself.  Light last week’s candle in your Advent wreath (the Hope candle), and a second candle.  The second candle is the Joy candle.  Read aloud Luke 2:1-14.

Yes, we are jumping into the story of Jesus’ birth here in the second week of Advent.  This season is about getting our hearts ready to receive God’s Son.  In worship in many churches during Advent, the Bible readings focus on the prophecy that prepared people for a Messiah to come.  The readings also cast a vision of the end times, when the Son of God will return in glory.  While we wait for Jesus to come again and turn the world’s not-joy into joy once and for all, we are also waiting for December 25, 2011.  And the Christmas story—this year and every year—is full of joy.

In this Advent series, we’re taking time to savor the story of God’s Son coming to us, from the angel Gabriel’s announcement to the visit from the Wise Men.  I hope that with today’s reading from Luke 2 and the upcoming readings, you will get to know the characters better and find a way to experience their joy.  I hope you will pass the story of Jesus’ birth on to your children and help them see how God is bringing joy into their lives as well.

“Where’s the joy?”  Let’s take a look at how Mary and Joseph would answer that question.  Go ahead and fast-forward those nine months after Gabriel makes the surprising announcement to Mary that she will become pregnant, but not by Joseph, even though he’s engaged to her, but by the Holy Spirit, who will cause her to bear the Son of God.  When we pick up their story in Luke 2, the surprises just don’t stop.

Being nine months pregnant was hard enough, but Mary and Joseph weren’t even at home.  They were traveling to Bethlehem, Joseph’s ancestors’ home, to be counted in the census.  Traveling was hard enough, but there wasn’t a place for Mary and Joseph to stay, so she ended up giving birth in a stable and placing her newborn son in a manger.

The joy in this story begins with the baby’s cry as he enters the world and settles into his first humble home.  It’s easy to picture Joseph and Mary quietly watching their son as loving (and exhausted) new parents.  Then God turns the volume up.  He sends an angel into the fields surrounding Bethlehem.  Shepherds see the angel and are scared out of their sandals.  But the angel tells them not to be afraid, because “I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord.”  While the shepherds are absorbing this news, a flash mob of angels appears in the sky, shouting praises to God and proclaiming peace to people.

So far, the nativity tableau is still the infant’s immediate, human family: Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, along with, of course, the animals in the stable.  But the joyful news of his birth is starting to spread.  The holy family won’t be alone for long.  The Son of God is in their midst.  He is the one who will grow up to go to the cross, to die, to be raised again, and to be the Savior of the world.   His birth is joyful because he was born for you.  To love you, to forgive you, to make you right with God, and to give you eternal life.

Where’s the joy?  Here’s the joy.  Right here, in the manger.

After reading the passage from Luke 2 and reflecting on it together, talk about any or all of these questions for a few minutes:

  • Who are some people in your world who could use some joy?  Who are people you know who are asking, “Where’s the joy?”
  • When is a time that you’ve felt full of joy?  How have you seen God at work in those joyful times?
  • As you wait for the birth of Jesus, how do you want to the great joy of his arrival to make a difference in your life and in the lives of those you love?

If music helps you express joy, sing this verse of  “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” together (it doesn’t have to be in tune!) “Emmanuel” is another name for Jesus.  It means, “God is with us.” [ED. note: Links to a few different versions of the song in this post.]

O come, blest Dayspring, come and cheer our spirits by your advent here; Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death’s dark shadows put to flight.  Rejoice!  Rejoice!  Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel.

At the end of your Advent wreath lighting, pray your own prayer or use this one, which is simple enough for children to read or repeat after you.

  • Dear God, thank you for your Son, Jesus.  Joseph and Mary were full of joy when he was born.  The angels were, too.  Prepare our hearts to welcome Jesus with joy.  Help us get ready to share the joy of his birth with others.  Come, Lord Jesus.  Amen

Advent Everyday: Each night, at dinner or whenever you can fit it in, light the first and second candles of your wreath, the Hope and Joy candles.  Have your children retell the story from Luke 2 with the characters in your nativity set (you might want to have a video camera handy for this one!)  Find out some ways you can help bring joy to families in your area who are struggling: bring food to a food pantry, donate your gently used coats, or donate diapers or other items to a shelter for women and children.  Make your kids a part of this service project.  Talk with them about why you’re doing it.  Serving others, especially vulnerable families like Joseph, Mary and the baby Jesus, helps us practice sharing the joy that the Christ child will bring to us and to the world.

 

Paige Evers is a Lutheran pastor, a mom to two young children, and the wife of a Lutheran pastor.  So far, in her house, Mary and Joseph have ridden in a ship, flown in an airplane, and rested in a tower made of Legos.  

Ready . . . Set . . . WTF?!?

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Even now, seven years later, I can’t stand to look at the magazines. You know the ones.

Pregnancy and You. Perfect Pregnancy. Pregnancy Where You Get To Stay In The Same Place And Not Move At All.

Those did not apply to me. If there had been a pregnancy magazine for me, it would have been called Vomit. I experienced nine months of nausea with both kids. Even now, I can’t walk past the maternity section at Target without feeling queasy. And yes, that was the worst of it, but coming a close second, and the real reason I hate to look at pregnancy magazines, are the articles on Planning Your Perfect Nursery.

That was never an option for me. Chris and I moved three times during my first pregnancy, and we brought home both babies to temporary apartments. In the case of my daughter, I didn’t even have a nursery, just a refurbished and beautiful, but patently unsafe, antique wicker bassinet in a corner of the living room. Her clothes were in a drawer of the bureau that came with our furnished apartment. Five weeks later, we moved to Tokyo, Japan, to another furnished apartment for a month, then to a permanent apartment, but our furniture was delayed for weeks. My baby furniture, bought when I was four months pregnant, finally arrived when my daughter was three months old. For a month, we slept on blankets on the floor with mattresses of old packing boxes, and I was grateful for them.

We moved from Japan when I was seven months pregnant with my son, into an unfurnished apartment in Dallas, Texas. By this time, we knew the drill: I packed kitchen basics, sheets, and pillows in our suitcases, the first trip we made was to the futon store. The shipment with our furniture arrived two days before my son. We managed to get everything unpacked and the next day, I had a baby.

I’m 99% fine with all of this. If I had to choose interesting life over boring life, I’d choose interesting every time, and I know how lucky I was that the temporary apartments I brought my babies home to were, by any definition, swank. It shouldn’t sting — but it does. What hurts most is that I will never have the opportunity to spend six months getting ready for motherhood. I won’t ever be able to pick out nursery colors, with matching curtains and a rug. I did a little bit for my son who was five months old and we moved (at last) to our real house. I picked out the paint and the art, but it’s always been what I could do while managing to keep track of a toddler and an infant, and, by the way, cancer. My kids’ rooms look okay now, after yet another move and a lot of putting-my-foot-down, but oh! what I wouldn’t give for six months of time to focus on them the way I could have focused on my first baby’s nursery if my life were a lot less exciting. I don’t do a lot of alternate universe daydreaming, but the one that lures me in every time is the one where the nesting instinct isn’t perverted into packing mania.

The epiphany came early for me after my son was born. As we went through the season of Advent, seven years ago, I realized exactly what it must have meant to Mary to have been told, “It’s time to travel” during her most miraculous of pregnancies. I wonder whether she had had a lovely nursery all ready to go. Her husband was a carpenter, and Joseph knew what kind of baby his wife was bringing into the world. I belt he built a doozy of a crib and changing table. And then they had to leave them all behind and travel to Bethlehem, and thence, with a toddler, to Nazareth. I wonder, did Mary have to stop the donkey every few hundred cubits to throw up? Did she complain about her aching back the whole way? Did her feet swell? And, then, was she mostly grateful for a room in a stable, or resentful that she had had to leave behind her home, her family, or a little of both? We’ll never know.

But now, when I see all the streets, all the shops, all the houses all decked out for Christmas, it makes me happy. The holly. The tinsel. The lights. The bows. The beautiful nativity scenes, with Mary and Joseph and the ox and the lamb and the shepherds and the angels, and the three wise men, all wrapped up so carefully from year to year, and then taken out, dusted, and arranged just so. I imagine Mary smiling down from heaven, remembering, all those years ago, about the time she had to have a baby in a stable because there wasn’t anywhere else.

And now, this year as we do every year, as we get ready for Christmas, as we clean and cook and decorate; as we make sure everything is just the way we want it, what we’re really doing is getting ready to make a warm, safe place for Mary’s baby.

It makes me happy.

Crafting Christmas: Everything Is Still Totally Do-Able (Part III).

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Ok, it’s Advent now, yes, but it’s still not December! We have plenty of time to make Christmas gifts for the people we love. Ignore the fact that December starts on Thursday! Ignore it, I say. Hey! Stop thinking about it!

So, yes, mild panic is beginning to set in. Are you in the same boat as me? Have you, like me, once again taken on too much in the way of crafting to accomplish between now and the last possible second you can throw whatever you made into a gift bag and hand it over to your mom? If you’re not sure if you’ve taken on more than you can handle, let’s review some sure signs:

1)      Anything you’re making involves size zero needles, or grout, or upholstery foam.

2)      You have begun to divide your life into “Knitting [or other craft here] Time” and “Everything Else Time.”

3)      You seem to have developed a strong resentment towards one of the people you are crafting for, quite possibly simply to get out of having to give them a crafted gift.

4)      You have considered passing off a non-homemade gift as homemade [Aside: Don’t. You will be found out – most likely when you are asked to make another of whatever you gave].

5)      You seem to be operating in some other time and space dimension than the rest of humanity, one in which it is totally reasonable to sew a quilt in one to two weeks while still working full-time.

6)      You have entered into a stage of willful blindness, ignoring signals that things are not going well, such as not being able to find the yarn you need to finish your aunt’s hat in three consecutive Michael’s, spread across three states.

Yes. Number 6 is me. In fact, they are all me. Well, except for the quilt. The quilt I’ve been making myself for the last two years is laying at my feet right now, a strong visual reminder that quilts don’t just happen. And I’m not using grout on anything. This year.

What can I say, O fellow stalwart crafter? We are not a cautious people. There is something a little off about what we do, anyway. Socks are widely available, as are quilts, pillows, stuffed animals, and jam, yet we choose to make our own and send them off to the peoples we love.

Yet, I can’t help but think of my Teddy Dog. What? He’s a Teddy Bear, but he’s a Dog. It was brilliant of my 5-year-old self to name him Teddy Dog. Shush.

Anyway, my grandmother made Teddy Dog for me, a very long time ago. That grandmother left this life for another three years ago, and I miss her every day. But I also know she loved me, and loves me still, and one of the reasons why I’m sure is that Teddy Dog is around to keep me company. He’s the Velveteen Rabbit of my life story, loved into being by two of us. I could have had a mass-produced toy, and I’m sure I would have loved it, but it’s so wonderful to have a unique gift made just for me by just her, my beautiful Mum-mum.

So, yes, we are crazy. But it’s a good kind of crazy. It’s a crazy that believes love can be made manifest in yarn, grout and beads (although not all at once, please). That’s the kind of love I want in my life.

Craft on, you crazy lovers. Christmas is coming!

Despite her outer sardonic nature, Shannon Reed actually loves bubbles, ducks, snow and Christmas, and is happy to start thinking about it as early as August. You can read more of writing and her writing about writing at www.shannonreed.org.

Readalong Day 3

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Today’s topic is “In Solitude, In Activity.” Nouwen explores the need to balance periods of activity with periods of being alone, even lonely: “Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our lives are in danger.” That’s a strong statement–in danger.

Are you feeling comfortable with solitude, especially as the “merry season” advances?

 

The Advent readalong is using the book Advent and Christmas Wisdom from Henri J.M. Nouwen. Every day through January 5. Hop in any time.

Best Christmas movie ever?

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I’ve heard a lot of talk about “It’s a Wonderful Life” being the best Christmas movie of all time, with Jimmy Stewart and Clarence and Zuzu’s petals. And then there are the Rankin-Bass devotees, who sing along with the Heatmiser and Coldmiser.

But I’m going to propose that there are two far, far better contenders for Best Christmas Movie Of All Time: “Love, Actually” and “A Christmas Story.”

“Love, Actually” has everything: family, fun, betrayal, romance, love, sadness, longing, travel, humor, and hope. The only thing that prevents it from being the perfect Christmas movie is the Laura Linney storyline. Every time I watch I’m convinced this time she’ll figure out that she doesn’t have to sacrifice her whole life to be a good sister, but she never does. That part seems unrealistic to me, that she wouldn’t have figured out some way to balance her brother’s life with her life after so much time.

And that leaves us with “A Christmas Story” as the GOAT Christmas movie. If you’re shaking your head “no,” stop and think–are you just reacting because you’ve seen it so many times that it’s lost its luster? Take a few years off and then come back to it. The movie is the perfect storm of unreasonably optimistic childhood, put-upon parenthood, nostalgia, and violent cursing. The whole school vs. home thing is a little Ferris Bueller, and the licking a pole scene is the greatest foreshadowing of that actor’s future career ever. I would gladly watch it four or five times in a row on Christmas evening if my family would let me. And then I’d order in Peking duck.

I know you all agree with me, so no need to comment.

Readalong Day 2

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Today’s topic is “The Root of Patience.” Nouwen writes: “What seems a hindrance becomes a way; what seems an obstacle becomes a door; what seems a misfit becomes a cornerstone.”

Patience has always been difficult for me. To sit and wait and do nothing is particularly troublesome. I have found solace in the past few years in the lyrics, “Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord; we will wait upon the Lord; we will wait upon the Lord.” The idea that being patient isn’t just about doing nothing, but rather getting ready, gathering strength, so that when God needs us to we can act.

Are you feeling “watchfully alert”?

 

The Advent readalong is using the book Advent and Christmas Wisdom from Henri J.M. Nouwen. Every day through January 5. Hop in any time.

Readalong Day 1

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Today’s topic is “In the Midst of Our Dark World,” and Nouwen is asking us to think about small signs of God’s power, not big ones: “The work of our salvation takes place in the midst of a world that continues to shout, scream, and overwhelm us with its claims and promises.”

Have you seen any small signs of God’s power or presence in your life today?

I like the imagery in the verse from Isaiah about the shoot coming out from the stump of Jesse, and a branch coming out of his roots. It seems to put into perspective the idea of generations, that we’re not just stagnant but that we’re going somewhere. And maybe a few bad days or months with one of our children won’t impede our growth.

Thoughts?

 

The Advent readalong is using the book Advent and Christmas Wisdom from Henri J.M. Nouwen. Every day through January 5. Hop in any time.

The Angel-in-Chief: A Surprising Announcement

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The First Week of Advent

It’s time to put the cornucopia centerpieces back in storage and bring out the Advent wreath.  In a recent post called “Advent Light, Advent Hope” I described Advent and how it can help slow us down and prepare our hearts for the birth of Jesus.  Now I’d like to give you a few ideas for celebrating Advent at home so you can hear the story of Christmas for the first or the thousandth time.  I hope you’ll try some of these ideas over the next four weeks (we’ll have a new post for each week) so you can pass the story and the faith along to your children.

For this first week of Advent, bring your family together or set aside some time for yourself, and then light one of the candles in your Advent wreath.  This candle is the Hope candle.  Read aloud Luke 1:26-38.

In this passage, the angel Gabriel comes to Mary, who is engaged but not yet married to Joseph.  Gabriel tells her a surprising announcement.  In a nutshell: “you’re going to conceive a child by the power of the Holy Spirit, and your child will be holy and will be called the Son of God.”  His message is confusing to Mary but it is full of hope for us.

Gabriel tells the young woman that her son will be named “Jesus,” which means, “he will save.”  This humble baby will be the Savior that Mary and her people been waiting and hoping for.  He will rescue the people from their oppressors and even save them from sin and death.  Not in the way of a conqueror as everyone was expecting, but by God taking on flesh, suffering and dying on the cross for us, and being resurrected to new life.

Christmas, the birth of Christ, is about hope.  Mary has no idea what is in store when she hears Gabriel’s shocking announcement, but she must have sensed the hope that was embedded in it.  God is about to come to people in a new way.  God’s amazing love is about to come down from heaven to earth in the form of a newborn baby.  If that can happen, anything one hopes for can happen.  During Advent, we wait and hope for the coming of Jesus and for how he will make God’s love known to us.

After reading the passage from Luke 1 and reflecting on it together, talk about any or all of these questions for a few minutes:

  • Where are some places in our world or in your community, workplace or school that could use some hope?
  • How does the birth of Jesus fulfill that hope?
  • How are you hoping for God’s love to come to you this Advent and Christmas?

If you enjoy music, sing verse 1 of  “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” together (it doesn’t have to be in tune!) “Emmanuel” is another name for Jesus.  It means, “God is with us.”

Or listen to a version of the song online. A great instrumental version is Andrew Peterson’s “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” from “Behold the Lamb.”  (iTunes version here and YouTube version here.)  A vocal version you can sing along to is Big Daddy Weave’s “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” from “Christ is Come.” (iTunes version here.) [Ed. note: I also love the version by Boys II Men for its simplicity and mystery, and the BarlowGirl version for the way it blends creepy mystery and hope.].

  • O Come, O Come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel, that mourns in lonely exile here until the Son of God appear.  Rejoice!  Rejoice!  Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel.

At the end of your Advent wreath lighting, pray your own prayer or use this one, which is simple enough for children to read or repeat after you.

  • Dear God, thank you for the season of Advent.  Thank you for this light.  Thank you for the hope you give us in Jesus.  Help us prepare our hearts for your Son.  Come, Lord Jesus.  Amen

Advent Everyday: Each night, at dinner or whenever you can fit it in, light the first candle of your wreath, the Hope candle.  Remember the story of Gabriel coming to Mary with his surprising announcement.  God’s Son is on his way.  We hope that he will come to us.  We will not be disappointed.  If you have an Advent calendar, talk about the story as you open each day’s flap (or eat each day’s chocolate!)  Keep the theme of hope in your minds and hearts, the hope that the Christ child will bring to the world.

 

Paige Evers is a Lutheran pastor, a mom to two young children, and the wife of a Lutheran pastor.  She is working on ways to adapt her Advent calendar to tell the story of Christmas and deliver a daily dose of chocolate.  Dark chocolate, to be exact. 

 

For which I am thankful

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I have a great deal for which to be thankful.

There’s the obvious. I’m lucky enough to have a good family, both my family of origin, my parents and brothers, and the family I’ve created for myself: my spouse and our children. Everyone’s healthy. Everyone’s happy. It’s incredibly rare, and incredibly precious, and it’s so hard in our day-to-day interactions to remember just how precious, but I do try, as do we all.

It’s easier for us, in our family, to remember how fickle life can be, because four years ago, Thanksgiving was a very different picture. We all thought it might be the last one for me, because I had a slight case of a very bad illness and the odds weren’t good. But here I am, and now I get to be thankful for the blessing of my family never ever taking me for granted.

It’s easy to count blessings that are obvious. Health. Wealth. Success. Beauty. I’m grateful for all of those things, but I’m also grateful that I’ve gone through periods without them. It’s a double-edged bounty.

When health has failed, I’ve been given patience. When wealth has vanished, I’ve learned generosity. When success has evaporated, friendship has stepped in to fill the void. When beauty crumbled, I found compassion. Even in their absence, life’s blessings have never failed to surprise me with their abundance.

I’m especially thankful for the hardships I’ve not had to endure. The heartbreak of a failed family is not one I’ve experienced firsthand, but I know, because I am lucky enough to have friends, that the Thanksgiving and Christmas too often bring the misery of a broken family into razor-sharp focus. I’m thankful for the gift of empathy, and for the confidences of others so that I learn about what I have not had to experience, and I’m doubly thankful that for me, Thanksgiving and Christmas have always been days of joy and happiness.

I’m thankful for the abundance of this land, and I’m thankful that the famine in others reminds of us the need to be mindful. I’m thankful for peace in my home, and I’m thankful for the lessons we have learned through war: that freedom and justice are worth fighting for, and dying for.

St. Paul tells is in his letter to the Thessalonians in everything to give thanks, for this is the will of God in Jesus concerning you. Not just the good, but in everything.

She’ll probably edit it out, but I also want to make it a point to say that I am thankful for the friendship of Magda, who runs this blog. She’s been a steadfast part of my life for fifteen years. I’m a better person today because of her, and I am grateful.

[Ed. note: I'm not editing it out, because Elizabeth has been as important to me as I have been to her. She was constantly encouraging, even when she was in the belly of the cancer beast, and teaches me every day about grace and twisted good humor. I'm thankful for her.]

Elizabeth Rose is a stay-at-home mom, cancer survivor, and writer. You can find her blog at Dance with the Reaper.com, and her column Christmas Tango here every week at Christmased.com.